I'm so tired of people's bullshit. I've seriously been trying to get away from this shit for nearly five years now and it hasn't stopped. If you've got a problem with me? Why don't you get the guts to say it to my face, instead of underhandedly talking shit. And you people know who you fucking are. And I've got a feeling I'm speaking on behalf of Leigh as well.

So, I had court on Thursday for social security and I won! I'm so happy, that stess is over and done with. What really bugs me though, is that two, three years ago when this started, and I was examined by a SS psychiatrist to see my mental condition, I got a letter from SS saying I was OKIE DOKIE. In my file? There's a damn huge report on how fucked in the head I am and I could have gotten mental disability alone. And not had to go through this bullshit. But whatever. I'm getting more money. I'll probably see some of it by labor day.

I'm not sure what I want to do school wise now. I'm not going back to APSU. I think I might take a partial courseload online at this college in town. I can't handle a full one. As far as English majoring goes, I have no idea now.

Going out with Eric tonight to see The Dark Knight, have dinner, and probably come back here and booze it up. Hopefully he'll spend the night. I dunno, even though he's had to go to work before where he left. Now he stays. And we finally can share a bed without me killing him, for taking up the whole bed with his god damn lanky asian legs.

But I dunno. I think he and I, and Leigh are the only ones that have sense about Heath Ledger being the Joker. Personally I think I'm going to hate the movie. Okay, it's based off the dark knight series. I don't care. Explain to me how Ledger and Bale are a few years apart and the Joker killed his parents. He looks like the Joker on meth, and will probably only win an academy award because he's fucking dead. There, I said it. And until I'm proven otherwise? Jack Nicholson is the ONLY Joker. And Tommy Lee Jones, the only Two-Face. And Batman? NO CONTEST. MICHAEL KEATON FOR THE WIN. And as we all know, I'm conceited and only my opinion matters.

Taking measurements tonight for some stuff. Mine, and then Eric's stuff. He shall be Vincent perfection. And good lord, I'm going to get so many fucking wigs, since everyone's are being sent here. Since I'm styling them. Like, the shit in the room I'm in for AUSA. Me, Leigh's, and Eric's alone is going to be ridiculous. And the sleeping arrangements. IT'S A TORI SAMMICH. Leigh owns my left breast. And Eric owns the other. So I'm in the middle of them. Well, my left one Eric says he owns too and we can make it a timeshare. But Leigh is putting her foot down and claiming the boob she drooled on. LAF. I LOVE YOU. I just want AUSA to be no drama. I'm not putting up with it, and Leigh and I are in the same mindset. Not putting up with people's bullshit and crap. Sorry, if you're gonna be a fucknut, go away.

That's it for now. Oh and I pay much more attention to my myspace, and got myspace IM all that shit. It's toriachan. So yeah. If you fuckers wanna add me, go ahead. XD

So, my back is much better. Considering from that fall I took. I think it's because it did this thing where it went.. CRRUNNCHHHHH. When I stood up. Anyway.

Yesterday, I got to hand out with Tatchan, clever_keloid for the first time. And Stephanie came along too. We hit the mall, ate at a restaurant and then went back to Amber's house to watch PVs, rock out to jrock and oggle the sexness. Also made some data discs with music for her. I gotta make CDs, audio CDs for Steph since she doesn't have her own comp at home and whatnot, so that takes longer. But, yeah. I have so much more music I need to give ya Tatchan.

It's really cool, finding another person in TN, who is into jrock. And I mean really into it. AND A MUKKU FAN! BECAUSE THEY LIKE. ARE SO HARD TO FIND EVEN JROCKDOM. And they've been around a while. Sure, they're not as visual as Nightmare or whatever. But they are a hardcore band. And, they're four members.

Which, Mukku cranks out a massive amount of sound, some real rockage and they are only a four member band. Where as Gazette, Nightmare, Diru, Vidoll..etc are five members. Hell, D'espairsray is four members too. And they rock hardcore. But hey, they're more popular now because of the American tour. Here anyway. And MUCC is getting more worldwide. Especially in France and Germany. Whee, world wide tours are great.

But yeah hanging out with Amber was a lot of fun. I was sad I got hurt that weekend and didn't get to hang out. Because it was much much fun. And with Steph there, it was even more jrocker lurve. I really want Stephie to cosplay Satochi. BECAUSE SHE'S A SPAZ LIKE HIM AND SHE'S GOT A BIG BUTT. HAHA. AND YOU KNOW YOU DO. <3. It's just getting all that curly hair into a wig would be hard. But hey, it'd work. I wish we could get a male Miya. Ha. Besides .. well. Me cosplaying him. Hehehe. More mucc cosplayers needed. They're harder to cosplay, to recognize because of the less visualness. But anyway. Tatchan, you rule. I'm glad I met you. Glad ya live near me so we can hang out. Oh and glad ya got to meet Stephanie. ::Snogs on Steph too.:: Harharhar. Sato.

Gerbera owns. I can't stop singing it.

So, I got the new Lolita23q single. And, it owns. It's five tracks long. And I really did enjoy it. Yay Ban. Yay Sou. I wish Megumi hadn't left the band though. :(

I also listened to the new An Cafe single. It's pretty good too. I think I like the third track, Funky Fresh Days the most. I'm sort of getting burnt out on them though. And a few other oshare kei, and vk groups.

Has everyone seen the new diru PV? Dead Tree? Okay, Dead Tree was on Withering, and I really want them to put out something new. But hell, their American debut and all and yeah.. it's frustration. I still think off of Withering, their best PV and song was Saku. Followed by The Final because thats just an awesome song, and Kodou.

I really like alice nine's new stuff too. Aikaryu needs to put out something new, and so does beaU.

Ummm. Lessee. I wish D'espairsray would put out some new music, but their DVD of the american tour is coming out so I suppose that's a good consolation. I have al their discography. I need to send music to Janie too. <3.


And Jenjen was uploading me stuff I didn't have but we decided it'd be easier if she just sent it data disc. And getting photoshop too. I need photoshop though I think with PSP? I make some rockin icons. Fuck the rising_sun community or whatever for not accepting me. I shoulda posted more icons but you know? I don't need to deal with elitist crap. It makes me sick.

Jenjen made me three Tatchan icons. JUST FOR ME. AND THEY ARE SO PRETTY! I luff juu. And TetsuxTatchan is sooooo yummy.
I'll get amber more info on the bands, the details soon. We chatted a bit. About jrock, about everything.

Even about relationships. Oh and Steph was there for some of it. Which we talked about her psycho ex Emily. I wish she had my LJ. Because this is for you Emily.

PSYCHO PSYCHO PSYCHO I MADE YOU OUT OF CLAY.. PSYCHO PSYCHO PSYCHO.. TIME FOR YOU TO GO .AWA---.. die.

I got a note passed in class on monday. some girl asking me out on a date. ahhaa. A note. A NOTE. Some people don't know about it, so I thought I'd post it here because it's funny. It makes me think of middle school. CHECK IN THE BOX IF YOU LIKE ME OR NOT HAR HAR. loser. Anyway, I said uhh.. no thanks. And then after class she comes to me and asks if we can still be friends. And I said.. we were friends? Um no?

I'm such an asshole.

Hahhaa. And the relationship talk. Mom had talked to me about it the other day. And I told her here's my feelings on it mom.
I don't need it. I'm asexual and reproduce in a cloud of spores. I don't need the emotional bullshit.
But maybe I'm lonely. Well, I am lonely. And this is my LJ and I can bitch about what I want because that's what these fuckers are for.

I said I don't do the relationship thing. Because I'm a jerk. I make girls cry and sniffle. I'm brutally honest and people don't like it. You either hate me or you love me, there is no inbetween. As said, it's apart of the loneliness factor. I'm picky about who I date, who I like, who I even make friends with. And JenJen is the same way. I've just given up on it. I'm not a good person to date. I'm mean.
But I think, that. If the right girl came along.. if the right person came along for me? I'd break the relationship rule. I'd bend it a bit and give it a try. I mean if that right person came. That I truly really liked. I'd try it. But I've been hurt so many times? Maybe that's another reason I'm such a dick about it. all the emotional baggage that comes with it. all the pain. but that's apart of life. But yeah. I'd have to like find that right person. RIGHT PERSON WHERE ARE YOU. god. i'm pathetic.
Told mom that too when we talked again today.

I'm pissed about not being able to drop that class. It makes me very angry that they screwed me. And I missed class today from uber PMS FROM HELL. Demonic thing that it is. And it's not even PMS, the mood swings. Just. I got blood on my pants and yeah. I never made it inside the classroom. I had to come home. Luckily I caught it while I was in the elevator to my class. Saw I had blood on me. Sigh. Not having always with wings is bad. I had to go and change and you know. I live in the middle of nowhere, so there was no way I'd get home, get changed and come back to school because by that time? It would be over. So maybe a few people saw the blood on me. But at least not my whole fucking class. That would have been really embarassing. My cramps aren't that bad though. At least.


I went on this rampage of making icons for candy and bubblegum and stuff. A lot of the greyscaling and coloring in. Heeheee. They're cute. But I made Grudge icons and HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS icons. But I'm gonna do more. I have about sixteen so far. I dun wanna post them till they're done. Even if there's a lot. I want at least like. A thirty icon set. Taking a short break from jrocker icon making. Because I went os long without doing grpahics. Then did a shitload of jrockers, and got I think overloaded, burnt. So the random icons, movie icons just a change.


OOH. Stephanie drew this picture of Tatsurou. And he's like a chibi? And has one fang. But but but. He has his horsey shirt on from the 9gatsu PV. IT'S SO CUTE. He looks great. Gonna get it up on my site and yeah. Very cool.
I only got a few pics from yesterday though, which sucked so next time we hang out, I'll have to take more random pictures. Thank you Stephanie for the aarrrtttworrrk. Oh and Tatchan, your Kyo piece? Glad I got to see it in person. Instead of just the pics on the LJ. Because it is really nice. I heart you guys's artwork. <333 SEE HEARTS.

hell, i wonder if i'll be able to sleep. who knows.
as for what im doing tomorrow? dunno. it's a thursday. gimme a call or whatever people.

wish i could meet your friend in georgia, tatchan. sounds awesome. ;D YAY FOR ASSHOLES! we shall rule the world.
yay for redemption. yay for gackt.

tmj hurts ow. like whoa.
sigh, boredom lonely.
bai.